Life In The Fast Lane

Or how to juggle a job, a husband, 2 kids, a dog, a cat, 5 chickens, and a house and garden … and do it well.

Short Answer: You can’t!

Something always has to give, and in my case it’s always the housework. I find it’s a matter of survival, and I’m just too paranoid to turn my back on the kids.

I love my kids but I don’t trust them an inch. They’re always talking of the day when they’ll get power of attorney over me (as I develop “Galloping Senility”) and they can commit me to an Old Peoples’ Home. I think it’s all a fiendish plot to get their grubby little hands on my priceless collection of worn out kitchen appliances and mismatched cutlery.

My children announce to the world that they’re neglected, that I’m at work when they get home, that I’m not always there when they need to talk about things. They hark nostalgically back to “the good old days” when I was a stay-at-home-mum and was there to greet them with home-made biscuits and milk after school.

Mind you in those days they used to complain about not getting store-bought biscuits.

And they didn’t want talk to me then, either.

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