Bribery And Corruption

I’m a great believer in bribery and corruption, especially when you have children.

I once offered to pay my son $1 if he could be quiet for 5 minutes. Needless to say he didn’t actually make it. I think he lasted 2 ½ minutes tops!

I refuse to give my children money for nothing. So they have to do little jobs around the house to earn their pocket money. Sounds brilliant doesn’t it? Teach them the value of money, and responsibility, all at the same time.

Easier said than done, I’m afraid. My son is always in debt because he borrows against next week’s money. But because he knows he’s not actually going to receive any cold hard cash in his hand that week he “accidentally on purpose” forgets to do his jobs. And so the debt spiral increases.

I once paid my daughter to wear (in good grace) a dress on a family visit that her grandmother had made her. Ok – I admit it was a very ugly dress but her Nana had made it with love, after all.

I can’t (for health reasons) venture into my son’s bedroom – it’s a death trap in there. So I pay him to clean it up once a week – just so I don’t die from embarrassment if the door is inadvertently left open. It’s a scary place his room. I’m convinced that strange things are growing in there. I keep expecting the Health Department to turn up and seal it off from the public as “unfit for human habitation”.

Ok so it’s not a full-proof method but it can make life easier. We now pay our teenagers to go out when we have friends over for a dinner party.

After all, who wants to hear a teenage boy brag about his sex life at a table full of adults who (being married with children) are probably sexually deprived anyway?


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