Housework Is Just Not My Thing

I really hate housework – I waste more time trying to find ways to avoid it than I spend actually doing it.

But I do suffer from the dreaded “housewife guilt” all the same. If the house is messy and someone visits – I’m the one who feels responsible. It doesn’t matter if I’ve been working full-time and my husband is home on holidays – I’m the one who gets embarrassed. I know it’s ridiculous but it’s a “gender” thing. Perhaps brainwashed as a child. Something like that.

I can relate to keeping the kitchen and bathroom clean – that’s simple hygiene, after all. But vacuuming and dusting all the time – give me a break!

My grandmother was big on housework – I think it gave meaning to her life. She had a regular roster of household tasks for every single day of the week. Can you explain to me how a house containing two elderly people needs the floors swept and things dusted each and every day. I don’t understand it – I mean, just how dirty could it possibly get?

The regular drudge detail seems pointless most of the time: what’s the purpose of having floors clean enough to eat from? – I’m much more comfortable eating at the dining table, thank you very much.

If I actually wash and polish the floors, rather than just vacuuming them (a rare occurrence, I have to admit) – just as soon as I’m finished, one of the kids will drop their glass and send juice splattering all over it. Then the only thing accomplished is one very irate mother, and a boy spending the entire day in his room.

And cobwebs – what’s with them? I live in Canberra now, and I have never seen so many cobwebs in my life. I’m not sure if it’s nature itself protesting the politicians, but if you remove the webs, they’re back, bigger and more invasive, in the same spot a few minutes later.

We also have water restrictions and although I applaud the idea, in principle – it does make life more difficult. I rather enjoyed washing the outside windows (which for me meant turning the hose on full-bore and blasting the windows with high pressure water). It was a lot of fun (especially on a hot summer’s day) and I could feel virtuous at the same time. But we shouldn’t do that any more. So guess when the last time our windows were washed?

If I looked around my house I could probably see about 20 things I should do – but what the hell – I’ll ring a friend and see if she wants to go to lunch. She probably needs a break too. After all, it’s extremely hard work spending an entire day at home, finding new ways to dodge the domestic detail, and not feel guilty, all at the same time!

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